start.  I, I havent even tried that, he admitted.  Or my human form either.
	I say, I totally overlooked that possibility! Phandebrass said, smacking himself on the forehead.
	Well, lets not experiment with it right here and now, she said, tapping her round belly.  I see theyre not setting fire to my rug, so you must have a great deal of control over them.
	Total, he answered.  Size, shape, and even how hot they get.
	Well, she said after another moment of thought.  I think theyre quite majestic.
	Tarrin gave her a slight start, and Dar laughed.  That does seem to be a consensus of sorts, Kimmie agreed with a sly smile.
	Theres more to it than the wings, Kerri, he admitted.
	I think I see most of it, brother, she told him analytically.  You have powers youre not supposed to have, and since your powers are still a creation of the Firestaff, theyre powers that set you outside the control of the Elder Gods.  And that scares the pee out of them.
	Tarrin nodded, not all that surprised.  Keritanima was a very smart woman.
	Well, if you cant undo it, then youd better just live with it, deshida, she told him.  Ive learned how to live with being on the throne.  I think you wont have too much trouble with this, especially since you can hide the wings whenever you want.  She made a slight face.  I cant wait to get this damned kid out of me, she growled.  Its done nothing but kick me for the last two months.
	Camara stepped up to her and put her hand on Keritanimas belly.  Well, I hope you have nothing planned for tonight, she told her.
	That soon? the Wikuni asked in surprise.
	Camara Tal nodded.  Your water should break sometime in the next few hours.  Probably around noon.
	Thank the Goddess! she said with an explosive sigh.  You have no idea how annoying it is not to be able to sit down or get up!
	Think again, Camara Tal said with a slight smile.
	Well, I think we got here at the perfect time, Dar surmised.  Just in time to visit before it happens, but not so soon that we have to wait around for a couple of days.
	Im just glad we didnt wake you up, Allia told her in Selani.
	You mean not like usual? Keritanima said waspishly, then she looked at Tarrin.  This girl has no concept of the time difference, brother! she complained.  She always wakes me up in the bloody middle of the night, just to talk!
	And you dont wake me up in the middle of the night when you get chatty? Allia countered.
	I do that just because you do it to me, she admitted with a toothy grin.
	You know, I hate it when they do that, Dar mentioned lightly to Tiella.
	I doubt wed understand what theyre talking about anyway, she answered.
	Its just them being silly, Dar, Sarraya told him casually.  Allia doesnt like people to think shes silly, so she just speaks Selani whenever she does it.  That earned Sarraya a very hot look from Allia.  See? she said, pointing.  Now shes all indignant that she got caught.  Forgot I speak the language, didnt you? she taunted Allia in Selani.
	Did we have to bring her? Allia demanded of Tarrin caustically.
	Well, not really, but shes a friend, and you know how you have to be nice to friends, he answered.
	Speaking of bringing, did you bring Miranda? Keritanima asked quickly, looking at Tarrin with a hopeful expression on her face.
	He knew she was going to be crushed, but there was no avoiding it.  He shook his head.  She still cant face anyone, Kerri, he told her.  Shes not ready.
	Keritanima took on an outraged expression, one that quickly turned to hurt.  But she--why cant she be here for this? she asked in a quavering tone.  We wont say anything.  She doesnt even have to talk to anyone!  She reached out and put her hand on Tarrins paw.  I know you know where she is, brother, she said, pleading with her eyes.  Please, please go tell her she doesnt have to say anything to anyone.  She doesnt even have to see me.  I, I just want her in the palace.  I want her to see the baby at least once.  You can take it to her, she doesnt even have to see me.  I-- she broke off, sniffling and wiping at an eye, I just want to know shes here when I have the baby.
	I-- he began, but the look of dreadful need in Keritanimas eyes was too sincere, too urgent for him to ignore.  He put his other paw over her hand.  Ill try, he promised.  Im not making any guarantees, and Im not quite sure how Im going to get her here, but if she agrees to come, Ill think of something.
	Thank you! she said explosively, reaching out and trying to pull him into an embrace.  He leaned over the chair and put his arms around her shoulders, patting her on the back.
	When he let go, he realized that the door was open, and he glanced back at it just in time to realize that the wings were still out, were more than visible.  Closing the door was a mink Wikuni with beige fur, a little shorter and not as buxom as Miranda, handsome but not cute in Mirandas manner, and without the blond tail.  It was Jenawalani, Keritanimas sister, who had helped her expose a plot against her life when theyd stopped in Wikuna on the way to ShaKari.  In the throne room when Miranda was used by Kikkalli to chastise her subjects, she had told the two of them that they didnt have to hide behind politics anymore, and that they should reconcile.  Jenawalani was something of a fixture in the palace now, the head of House Chan but related to the queen by blood, and the two of them combined were a potent political force.  Jenawalani was very smart, ruthless, and cunning, and she often did the dirty work that Keritanima didnt want traced back to her.  The mink Wikuni stopped dead and stared at Tarrin in surprise.  Tarrin, what in the furies are those? she asked, pointing at him.
	Its a long story, Jenawalani, he answered mildly, but he did withdraw them back into their retracted state, if only to give her a chance to get near her sister.  You know me.  I cant show up around here without some kind of trick.
	She laughed and walked boldly through the group of chairs and couches and sat down by her sister, taking her hand.  Youre all weepy, Kerri, she noted.  Whats wrong?
	Nothing, Jen, nothing at all, she answered.  I dont think a few of you have met Jenawalani.  Shes my sister.  Jenawalani, this is Dar, and his wife Tiella.  This is Eron and Elke Kael, Tarrins parents.  This is Koran Tal, Camaras husband, Jula, Tarrins bond-daughter.  The children are Jasana, Tara, and Rina, and the annoying little insect is Sarraya.
	Hey! Sarraya snapped indignantly.
	Pleased to meet all of you, she said with an endearing, sincere smile. Im Kerris evil sister.
	You are not! Keritanima objected.
	Of course I am, she answered with a sly smile.
	Have you eaten yet? Keritanma asked Tarrin.  I hope not.  Im starving.
	Its coming on lunchtime to us, Tarrin replied.
	Good.  Lets move this army down to one of the dining rooms, then Ill have Jervis give those who want it a tour of the city.
	Not out in that cold, Dar said adamantly.
	Youre not going to freeze to death, Tiella told him sharply.  I want to see Wikuna, and youre going!
	She has him henpecked already, Sarraya noted to Tarrin.
	Not quite, Tarrin answered.  This one will come down to an argument.
	Think so?
	Positive, he nodded.
	After dinner, Keritanima went to go rest for a while, and their large group broke up.  Most of the others went with the floppy-eared rabbit Wikuni, Jervis, on a grand tour of the city, being conducted by three large, grand sleds, each pulled by two massive horses with shaggy fetlocks on each ankle.  It had indeed come down to an argument between Dar and Tiella, which ended in a compromise.  Dar went, but he also cheated by using Sorcery to keep himself and Tiella warm.  Tarrin, Allia and Allyn, Camara Tal, and Dolanna did not go, however.  Keritanimas siblings, Allyn, and Dolanna had seen Wikuna many times, and little Shaul needed to be put down for a nap, so Camara Tal remained to watch over her daughter.  She allowed Koran Tal to go along with the others, though, for he was quite excited about the idea of visiting the fabled Ministry of Science, the compound of several buildings where the largest collection of artisans, inventors, and technological adherents gathered to pursue breakthroughs in science and technology.
	Tarrin had weightier concerns, and he also was reminded of a promise he needed to keep to Keritanima.  He went to the apartment that Keritanima had permanently set aside for him, the same one in which he and Kimmie had stayed when they had visited Wikuni on the way to ShaKari.  Long ago he had spun out a new strand and ran it through the room, specifically so he could do what he was about to do now.  He sat down on the bed, the strand touching him, going through him, then quickly and effortlessly lifted his consciousness up into the Weave.  As always, he was drawn directly to the Heart, and it was from there that he cast out his awareness into the Weave, sending his power through the entirety of it, searching for that faint echo of power that was Miranda.  That was how he kept track of her, because since she was an Avatar, she had a specific and subtle sense of presence, a slight effect on the Weave that left a distinct mark.  He knew exactly what he was looking for, so that allowed him to find such a light and delicate presence within the uncountable strands of the Weave.  Sometimes it took him quite a while to find her, sometimes even hours, but he always started in the last place where he knew she was and radiated outward from there.  The problem was that the topography of the Weave did not correspond to the geography of the planet, and the technique of radiating out from that point in the Weave may take him halfway across the world from where Miranda really was.
	It took him about fifteen minutes until he found that sense of presence.  Once he had a lock on her, he spun out a very simple spell that allowed him to locate her physically, creating an Illusion of a map within the Heart and showing him where she was.  To his surprise, she was in Abrodar.  She was only about half a longspan from the Raintree Tower.
	This caused a moment of debate in him.  He could go see Miranda.  She was half a longspan from a place where he was grounded, where he could Teleport.  He didnt have to project to her, he had a chance to go see her, touch her, smell her, to be there.  He very much wanted to see Miranda, but he also remembered the pleading in her eyes when she asked him not to follow her, not to interfere.  He had promised to stay away from her.  And though he kept track of her, he had not contacted her, not interfered.  He was about to break that promise, but on the other hand, he was confident that Miranda wouldnt take him to task for it.  After all, this was a rather important reason to make contact with her.
	No, it would be wrong to go visit her, even if he wanted to do so.  It wasnt even right to project out to see her.  For this, he had to be discreet, to break his promise but not be blatant about it.  So he wove a simple spell that would project only his voice out into the real world, and would allow him to hear from the point of focus of the spell as if it were his ear.  Hed hear her and everything around her, but he would not be able to see her.  He activated the spell, and heard quite a few voices in the background, all of them speaking Sharadi.  She was in a public place.  From the sounds of it, she was in a tavern or inn.  It was night in Abrodar right now, so he doubted she was in a marketplace.
	Miranda, he called.  Miranda, its Tarrin.  Just speak, and Ill hear you.
	Tarrin? she called in surprise.  Where are you?
	Im projecting my voice from Wikuna so you can hear me, he answered.  I cant do this long, my friend.  Its a very tiring thing to do.
	If youre going as far as to talk to me, then something serious must be happening.  Whats wrong?
	He felt a sudden urge to tell her what happened to him, but he quashed that.  He was doing this for Keritanima, and he didnt have long to talk before the effort of sending his voice halfway around the world caught up with him.  This was a trick that only the most powerful dashar could manage, and it would even tire out a suikun relatively quickly.
	Nothings wrong, old friend.  Im sorry to break my promise to you, but I had to let you know that Kerris about to give birth.  Shes asked me to find you and beg for you to let someone bring you here.  She wants you to be in the palace for the birth, old friend.  You dont have to be in the room with her.  Kerri said you dont ever have to see her or anyone else.  She just wants to know that youre here when she has her baby, and she wants you to see it.
	There was a long silence from her.  I, I dont know if Im ready to face her, Tarrin, she said quietly, morosely.  I dont think I can.
	You never have to face her,  Miranda, Tarrin said.  I can bring you to the palace, and you can hide in a room the entire time.  Nobody will see you but me.  I can bring the baby to you so you can see it, then I can put you right back in Abrodar.  Kerri just wants you to be in the palace, in Wikuna, when she has the baby.  Thats all she wants.  He closed his eyes, though shed never see it.  You dont have to face anyone but me, and you already know how I feel about the matter.  Can you manage that?
	There was a long, protracted silence.  I, she started in a quavering voice.  I dont know if I can, she told him.
	He could hear the anguish in her voice, could sense her fear and trepidation at the thought of it.  In that moment, he knew that she was not ready to return to Wikuna.  And he would not force it on her.  This time, for once, Keritanima would need to accede to Mirandas wishes.  If it made her bitter, so be it.  If it truly bothered her that much, then perhaps Keritanima had truly never learned her lesson to take her best friend more seriously.  If she couldnt understand that it would not be good for Miranda to return, then perhaps it was best Miranda if never returned at all.
	I understand, Miranda, he told her in a gentle voice.  At this moment, my dear friend, I understand better than you could ever imagine.
	He heard her sniffle.  Thank you, Tarrin, but you cant understand what Im going through.
	Tarrin felt keenly the wings on the back of his image, which had transferred into the Weave, had become a permanent part of the self-image which defined how he appeared within the Heart.  Even here, where how he appeared was a function of how he imagined himself to be, he could not get away from the wings, could not forget what they meant.
	Miranda, he said in a low, poignant voice, a voice that overflowed with the subtle power of his emotions, someday youll know how wrong you are.
	He killed the spell before he heard her response, and then retreated back to himself, overwhelmed by the power in that statement.  Miranda was suffering a crisis of identity, unsure of who she really was and what she was supposed to be, lost and overwhelmed because she had discovered that she was not what she always thought she was.
	How much would he give to have her problem.
	Opening his eyes, feeling suddenly entrapped and insecure, Tarrin set his will against the Weave and used the spell of Teleportation to send himself out and away, far away, to the ruins of Mala Myrr.  It was dusk there, the desert sky painted in brilliant shades of red and pink and purple, the suns fading light shining through the top of an approaching sandstorm, illuminating it in a breathtaking array of shifting colors.  The desert was starting to cool, was in that perfect time when it was not cold, not hot, not bright, not dark.  Perfectly in the middle.
	Without thought, he brought the wings out, allowed them flare out to their normal size, brought them partially around himself to protect against a sudden wind, the winds that tended to kick up in the morning and evening as the air cooled or warmed.  He stood there, in the center of that ruined arena, standing on the sand-covered floor of it near the pile of rubble which he had used in his battle with Jegojah, eyes half closed and feeling very lost and alone.  He put a paw on each opposite shoulder, almost hugging himself, staring out into the sunset with empty eyes, then he bowed his head and lost focus on what he was seeing, ignoring the ground before his eyes as they turned inward to focus on the conflict within.
	Miranda didnt know who or what she was.  He would love to forget who and what he was.
	Demigod.  Not a mortal, not a god, trapped between the two.  Belonging to neither group, feared by one, hiding among the other, knowing that those who understood him feared him, those that did not understand him would also fear him should they know the truth.  And the worst of it all, knowing that nowhere anymore, nowhere did he truly belong.
	He did not belong among the gods.   He was not one of them, was a creation of the Firestaff, and would forever be considered an outsider, an interloperan abomination.  They feared him, feared him because they could not control him, and forever would they look down on him as nothing other than less than what they were.  He would find no equal among them, even if they came to accept his existence on Sennadar.  To them, he would always be a demigod, that one being out there that might understand some aspects of the truth of their existence, but not enough for them to treat him as anything other than less than themselves.
	But he also did not belong among the mortals.  They would not understand him, could not understand him.  The very reasons the gods would not accept him would make the mortals reject him as well.  He was different than them, but instead of being less than them, he was more than them.  They could never treat him as an equal either.  Those that discovered his truth would fear him.
	He wasalone.  He was the only one of his kind, a singular being who would never find a place among either the mortals or the gods.  All he had were his friends and his family, the only ones who he felt could look past the truth of him and accept him.  And they were all the comfort he would find in this world.
	Who was Tarrin Kael?  It used to be such a simple question, with a simpler answer, but not anymore.  In reality, there was only one answer now.  Who was Tarrin Kael?
	Alone.
	But it would not be lonely being alone.  He would be forever different from the people around him, but that didnt mean that he couldnt find comfort, enjoy those few who could accept him for what he was, and everything that came with it.  Though he would know that he was different from them, he could still find contentment.
	What now, Tarrin Kael? he asked himself.  What now indeed?  Hard as it might be, there had to be a what now, a continuation of life after such a dreadful revelation.  He could not run away; it would not help him.  His Were-cat nature wouldnt allow that.  It demanded that he face things head-on, fight tooth and claw, challenge life and best it in the daily duel which was survival.
	What now?  What would have been had it never happened.  That was the Were-cat way.  Fight on, live life, and enjoy the simple pleasures which made it worth living.  And in time, as the memory of it all faded into the past, it would not seem quite so bad.
	That too was the Were-cat way.
	Wings on his back there might be, the soul of a god he might have, but he was still a Were-cat.  The revealing of the divine spark within changed nothing so far as that was concerned.  He was still Were, still had the instinctshe just a Were-cat with wings now.  Wings, and a non-mortal soul.
	Wings.
	Maybe Dolanna was right.  Maybe the divine spark within had granted him the wings to allow him to fly.  He so loved to fly, to be high above the ground and look down and feel that immeasurable sense of freedom that came with it.  To be free of gravity, to look down upon the land and know that one had escaped from its prison.  There were few feelings that could compare to it.
	Slowly, Tarrin raised his gaze from the sand before him to the sky above him.  Was it possible?  Well, anything was possible.  Memories from the fight with Vals shadow told him that the could fly while he was so transformed, and that the wings somehow had provided the power of that flight.  They didnt flap like birds wings, instead they had held within them a magic that had allowed him to defy gravity, to move through the air with the utter freedom of movement enjoyed by his Air Elemental.  Hed had no idea how he was doing it, but he had done it.  The wings were different now, thoughhe could sense it.  Was that same magical power within them, or was it too something that he could only manage when in that transformed state?
	He remembered parts of that battle, and the wings.  When he used his power, they expanded, increased in size, almost as a physical indication of the power he was bringing to bear.  Did they work the same now?
	He shook his head.  He shouldnt experiment.  Not now, not yet.  He should give himself time to acclimate himself to their being there.  In time, with rest and reflection, perhaps hed get an idea of what they did, how they worked.  The touch hed made on that power within told him that it was a compliant power, and would obey him.  The trick of it, hed already discovered, was making it do both what he wanted it to do and what it was capable of doing.  It was much like the All in that regard.  If it wasnt exactly sure what he wanted it to do, it did what it thought he wanted it to do, and that could be rather dangerous.  Hed already discovered that part of this newfound power was the ability to create fire, and his wings could radiate the kind of heat one would expect from a blast furnace.  Those are two things hed discovered quite by accident, and they could be deadly.  As to what else it could do, he could do, it was going to be a matter of exploration, and trial and error.  The power may be obedient, but it didnt communicate to him how it worked and what it did.  It was up to him to learn this power, to unlock it.
	And perhaps, he really would discover he could fly.
	It was the trade-off.  He remembered, long ago, the Goddess telling him that the Were-cats were altered in the Breaking, and that they had gained their Were regeneration and strength in all their forms, but the trade-off was that the human shape became painful for them to hold.  This power seemed no different.  In order for him to use it, it had forced upon him a change, had put the wings on his back, which were the price he had to pay in order to gain access to that power.  And just like with the Were-cats, there was no going back once that change had been instituted.
	Alone.  Could he live with being alone?  He climbed up the pile or rubble and stood atop it, looking around, his eyes inevitably drawn to the pristine tomb which held Faalkens body.  Everyone was alone, when it came down to it.  Nobody truly understood anyone else.  They were all alone, sharing that loneliness with one another.  It was harsh truth that he would never find a place, would never belong, but with work and keeping his friends around him, he could learn to deal with the hollow emptiness that that knowledge would put inside him.  He would never belong, but in a way, he would belong with them.  They would be his crutch, his link back to the mortal world, a world that was truly no longer his.
	They would also be his comfort.  Jesmind and Kimmie and Mist, his parents, Triana, sisters and friends, they wouldnt abandon him.  With them, he would always find acceptance.  And so long as he had their acceptance, did it truly matter if there was no place for him on this world?
	There was a place for him after allwith his family.
	Tarrin turned his face into the wind, spread out the wings to catch the last glimmers of light from the setting sun, then folded them behind him, feeling his tail bump up against their inner edges as it swished behind him.  It was going to be a long and lonely road, but so long as he remembered that he always had his family, then it wouldnt seem quite as bad.  He just had to remember that he would always belong with them, that he was a part of them.  He may have to stand on the outside looking into a world that was no longer his, but they would always be there to hold open the window for him.
	And what of the gods?  He looked at the lower half of the sun through the top of the sandstorm, and he could still see Shirazis eyes.  They were staring right at him, and there was fear within them.  He could sense seventeen other spectral observers, seventeen other gods, and four of them were Elders.  They were too far away from him to see, looking down on him from above.  He didnt deign to acknowledge their presence by looking up, kept his eyes on the sun.  It was another indication of the irrevocable change in his life, the fact that his eyes were now open to that other, hidden world which lurked behind what the mortals could see and touch.  He could see it all around him, sense the lingering presence of the gods, the mark they had left on the world, but it was hazy and indistinct, like a badly formed Illusion.  Only the gods themselves were what he could see with clarity.  That was the proof that he was no longer mortal, but the fact that he couldnt see all with perfect clarity was the proof that he also was not a god.  He could sense their fear, their hostility towards him.  Most of those who looked upon him now wanted to destroy him, but he could sense the fear involved in that idea.  Ayise could not simply destroy him with a thought, and neither could the other Elder Gods.   They would have to come down into the mortal world and fight him, bring about their power in a direct manner and use it to attack him and expose themselves to attack in return, and that reality terrified them.  They did not want to put themselves at risk.  They were afraid, the same fear that had prevented them from destroying Val, a fear of something that they could not utterly control.  It wasnt the fear of bringing ruin to the world, as they had always told him, it was nothing more than a fear of the possibility of being defeated.  They could have sent Niami down into the world to fight and used their power to contain the devastation as they had done when he had fought Val, but they had not.  Niami represented magic, a force that was not absolutely vital to the world, and she had told him more than once that her power, the threat that the Elder Gods would send her to destroy him, had been what had kept Val in check during the battle at Suld.  Why could they have simply done that before?
	The answer was tied up in another statement Niami had made to him long agothat gods were not perfect.  In fact, they were rather childish, for they had no one around to make them grow up.  It was their arrogance, their fear, which had stayed their hand against Val.  That Niamis loss to the world while she recreated her icon meant, at the most, a temporary loss of magic to Sennadar.  That was something from which the world could have recovered.  But even that was too much for them to consider.  They wanted Val gone, but they were afraid to do it themselves.
	They had been afraid.
	And when Tarrin came along and understood what had to be done, they simply stepped back and let him do it.  After all, they werent going to be put at risk.  That was what he was for.  He was the expendable mortal.
	And afterward, when he managed to survive the destruction of his body and divinity, they allowed Niami to revive him not to reward him, not because it was what was only fair, but because he could be of use to them.  He could be a second Guardian, help Spyder take care of the dirty work that the gods wanted done, but didnt want to do themselves.  Again, to use him for their own needs.  And Vals shadowTarrin suppressed the urge to level a few city blocks.  They had allowed that monstrosity to survive just so Tarrin could fight it, to see if he was worthy.  What an incredible load of dung.  He was a suikun and a Druid.  He was trained by the best warriors on Sennadar.  He was one of the most powerful people alive, and they hadnt thought that was enough?  It was ridiculous.  Theyd let him go up against Val with less than he had now without a single word.  No, they set up that little stunt just to see if he had any kind of divine capabilities, and for no other reason.  They set that up fully knowing what Stragos Bane really was, and they let him stumble blindly right into the spiders web.
	That was no test.  It was a trap.  And if Tarrin was killedwell, that really wouldnt matter.  At least to them.
	And when their game went horribly wrong, they had the nerve to be afraid of him and want to destroy him, regardless of the fact that it was all their fault.  But the Elder Gods didnt take responsibility for things like thatnot when the only thing in the balance was the life of a single mortal who didnt happen to be quite so mortal anymore.	Now they all had to live with it.  But they certainly got their answers.  He hoped they choked on them.
	He really should get back.  Jesmind was probably looking for him, and they needed to have a long talk.  He needed tobut he did not want to.  It was so beautiful in the desert, the rosy hue of the sandstorm fading into a dark, dusky red as the sun set, as Shirazis eyes dipped below the horizon, as the warmth of the air slowly bled away and left behind the chill of the desert in winter.  Even though he felt a little better about everything, he still felt strangely reluctant to return.  There was a strange sense of peace here, one that he was reluctant to leave behind.
	Going back to Suld wouldnt be fun.  No doubt Jenna had left behind instructions for Ianelle about what to do with the crater of absolute destruction left behind in the battle between Tarrin and Vals shadow.  Hed done some serious damage to Suld, and then they all disappeared, ran away from the scene of the crime--or so Arren might believe.  He needed to go see Arren personally and explain what happened, apologize to him and offer to help set things right.  It seemed something of a pattern where he and Arren were concerned.  Tarrin destroyed Arrens holdings, then paid him 